


moderation

by froggyxfluff



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Bittersweet, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Smut, One Night Stands, Taverns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-15 07:41:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29930145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/froggyxfluff/pseuds/froggyxfluff
Summary: It should’ve been meaningless but for a man in Changbin’s state, it wasn’t.-Felix stayed behind the bar after that, flicking through a thin book with brown weary pages. He could not focus on the words.
Relationships: Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 5





	moderation

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Firstly, if the name of this fic seems random- there's a little story behind it- the night I started writing this, I gave it the placeholder name "moderation". That same night one of my teachers sent me an email with the subject and document named "moderation essay". I A L M O S T cried, thankfully I didn't (by some weird coincidence) send her this fic, but after that, the name moderation kinda stuck with me!  
> anyways, i listened to lots of Russian Waltz Music writing this.  
> Thanks for reading <3  
> [ twitter](https://twitter.com/henchboych3nle)

When he entered the tavern, he was unsuspecting. That’s not to say he was in danger, rather he did not bring it on himself to be swarmed by patrons. He knew he was foreign and attractive and full of stories- visibly a traveller.  
He was used to sharing his tales, both the fortunate and unfortunate, although whether he told the fortunate or the unfortunate was dependent on his audience. When passing through a town square and resting by a fountain where children would chase and play, he’d only tell tales of his triumphs and fables, to leave a moral mark on the children’s minds. When resting at an inn he’d recall his losses as the elder women offered their comforts. He remembered that feeling now- being surrounded by the warmth of others who had suffered and the smell of the soap the women used, unperfumed but clean- for it was warm and clean in the tavern. He asked for a room and a table.  
His table was soon crowded with locals. He answered their questions and drank and ate, but all in moderation. That is when Felix noticed him. 

So far he had been preparing rooms upstairs, acting as a housekeeper. Replacing bedsheets and towels, lighting candles and leaving out bowls of water for washing. He noticed the commotion as he descended but didn’t discover what was at its centre until later.  
To say he didn’t care would be an overstatement. It was not a lack of care, but a lack of desperateness that meant he was not so easily distracted and so, he continued his work.  
Downstairs he acted as a server, bringing beer and meals and whatever their guests paid for from kitchen to customer. A few times he bought drinks over to the stranger but only managed to catch a glance as, more often than not, a young woman would sweep the tray from Felix’s hands, and serve the man- Changbin- to curry favour with him. Felix did not mind how they swooned and sighed. They didn’t seek marriage or for that matter anything deeper than a single night’s company. It was one of those evenings where Felix wondered if any of the many shrill voices would be at the tavern the next morning asking for their strongest cramp-inducing tea. 

Changbin was used to such advances as these. He often accepted them but rarely came across what he saw in the freckled boy. He flitted around, doing a little bit of everything really. He was rather graceful, Changbin thought. Sometimes, when the room was almost too loud and no one seemed to recognise that Changbin was preoccupied, he would think that he was slightly seductive. But those thoughts would leave his mind as swiftly as they came, after all a moment’s eye contact or the sloping skin of his neck as he’d roll his head back (perhaps because of a crick) were just that; eye-contact and skin. It should’ve been meaningless but for a man in Changbin’s state, it wasn’t. 

It must’ve been an hour before the crowd around Changbin fizzled. He felt that he had been waiting an eternity to be freed and as the last of the girls were scolded and bustled away by their mothers, he saw that he had a chance at proximity with Felix. He did not take it. He wanted to see if Felix would come to him. He did. He placed a glass of water on the table,  
“You’ll need it after all those drinks,”.  
“Thank you, it feels the girls bought me one too many,” he shook his head fondly.  
Felix managed a polite smile but turned away. The girls did not buy the drinks. Felix did. He feared he had overdone it.  
Felix stayed behind the bar after that, flicking through a thin book with brown weary pages. He could not focus on the words. 

Changbin stayed at his table, finishing the last of his dinner. He ate slowly, waiting for the last patron to give in to his fatigue and take to his room so that he and Felix would be alone together. He knew that Felix was watching him because when his dishes were empty, Felix picked them up and disappeared into the kitchen. When he came back out he sat on the chair next to the fire. He had abandoned his book and Changbin took it as an invitation to sit with him. 

“Are you going to tell me stories too?” Felix asked as Changbin took the armchair.  
“I don’t know which ones you’d like.”  
“Is there something else you want to tell me then?”  
Changbin made no attempt to hide his blush but unconsciously bit his lip as he broke his eyes away with a smirk,  
“I’ve drunk too much to tell you the best ones,” he said, answering the original question.  
His eyes found Felix once again as he darted up and away towards the bar, carefully balancing a mug filled with beer as he returned. Changbin watched curiously as Felix downed the entire thing, finishing it with a satisfied sigh. He was already chuckling when Felix said,  
“There, we are equals now!”. They giggled together but fell silent as they caught eyes.  
“I will tell you a story but it hasn’t happened yet,”  
“Oh?”  
“It is about where I will travel from here,”. He spoke softly as though he were reminiscing.  
“It is a kingdom near the coast,”. He explained.  
He would meet an ally there, the prince. He was said to be amicable and generous however this was merely anecdotal as Changbin explained,  
“I’ve never been in his acquaintance. I’d know him only by looks, but not by voice like you would an old friend,”  
“What will you do with your ally?”.  
“I don’t know. It is for the fates to decide.”  
Felix waited for him to explain what he meant by that. He was curious but as Changbin changed the subject, it was an easy feeling to ignore. 

“How did you get to be so…” Likable? Charming? Beautiful? “- kind?”.  
Felix thought the question was a compliment but to accept it as one would be desperate. It was late and quiet. He would become like those handsome girls and from observation, he knew that was not the way to keep Changbin’s attention,  
“I am kind to those who deserve it,”.  
He saw how Changbin looked at him.  
“Who deserves it?”.  
He knew what Changbin was asking- to tell him ‘you deserve it, you deserve my kindness and my patience and my affection’- because he wanted Felix to want him. Felix answered plainly,  
“Everyone,” while he spoke, he watched the fire crackle. It was almost burnt out.  
“There is no point in rudeness. Even if I think such things, I’d never say them.”  
“Do you think rude things about me?”  
“Not in the time that I’ve known you,”  
“So you might do, in the future?”  
Felix shook his head and smiled at Changbin’s wit.  
“You might be kind but you are a tease,”  
Felix decided then he would tease, in his own way of course. The way that made him feel powerful.  
“Am I really?” he asked in a genuine, dampened tone.  
“No… only a little,” Changbin replied.  
Felix knew how Changbin felt. He thought ‘imagine what he tells himself- that I’m some innocent boy, that I believe I could love him’. Felix was not so naive. 

Felix watched Changbin sleep, illuminated by the late moon. His nostrils flared so slightly as he breathed. He slept on his back, limbs sprawled, stomach rising and falling as an infant’s would.  
Felix was laying side-ways-on, his head resting in his hand. He felt the crick in his neck returning and sat up leaning against the headboard instead. He thought about how attentive Changbin was.  
When they were in bed it was thrilling to hear him say,  
“I noticed your neck, I mean does it hurt?”, unaware of the fire it lit in Felix. It meant Changbin had been watching him, even when he hadn’t intended it. He liked that.  
He thought about how Changbin touched him. He really was hesitant at first. Felix had to initiate it although once Changbin was comfortable he was not selfish with contact.  
Felix glanced down at his own body. There were bruises. He knew there would not be any on his neck. He wished someone would be brave enough to leave one there. It was no secret that Felix would fool around any chance he got but sometimes he thought the men he attracted were cowards.  
The bruises across his chest were darker than those on his hips, for those had been left by hands and not Changbin’s hungry lips.  
Felix saw the bruises he left on Changbin. All below the collarbone. Perhaps he was the coward.  
He looked at Changbin’s lips. He said that when he travelled from Mediterranean Europe he bought with him their oils and ointments. That was how he kept them soft. Felix felt it when he kissed him. A slight peppery taste, experimental licks and dragging his lip between his teeth. Felix unconsciously grazed his bottom lip remembering how Changbin bit it. It was not swollen but he swore he still felt something. It was presumptuous for Felix to think, ‘he may lend me an ointment to soothe it’, and he withdrew the thought as it came.  
Changbin’s bare chest rumbled as he muttered something in his sleep.  
He made as much noise as he wanted but when Felix was beneath him, his hand floated above Felix’s mouth, ready to silence him. Felix pulled it down, clamping himself under Changbin’s touch. Changbin’s hands were soft but strong. When he was held between them Felix felt delicate and protected. He felt that he belonged to someone. As he remembered it, he yearned to feel it again. It was not a sensation that came from the heart, but from the nerves beneath his skin. Laying next to Changbin did not make him feel the weakness he craved.  
He felt weak when he was tugging at the collars of Changbin’s shirt. Changbin had his back pressed to the door and Felix was in his arms. Changbin was languid and patient but Felix was reckless and needy, despite Changbin being the deprived one.  
He was quiet in bed- not completely silent as he quickly understood how much Felix enjoyed to be praised- but much chattier afterwards. Felix wasn’t sure how Changbin would treat him after- would he be dismissed to his own room, or would they turn their backs and sleep silently as though nothing had happened? He was glad to discover Changbin was generous with his affection. He held Felix and he whispered to him. In retrospect, they were all sweet nothings.  
The window in Changbin’s room faced the sunrise, so as the early dawn crept it, its light flooded into the room. That was Felix’s cue. He had to prepare for his day, clean and help the kitchen prepare for breakfast. In other words, work. He thought about kissing Changbin. He did not do it. Felix was supposed to be level headed, difficult to distract. He would give in to his temptations, only in moderation.  
He instead took Changbin’s shirt to keep. It was loose, but with tucked into trousers and his worn brown leather suspenders, it suited him. 

When Changbin left, Felix did not kiss him. That is what suitors did- they were not suitors and just barely qualified to be called lovers. Changbin did point out Felix’s- rather his- shirt as Felix saw him off, to which Felix replied,  
“Maybe you will come back, and I will return it,” although he knew that would not happen. No one came back for him. He did not want them to. He preferred their trinkets. He knew the image he had left on Changbin- a yearning young boy, who’d clutch his chest dreamily, waiting for his love to return. Yes, that was his image but that was not who Felix was. He would not be returned to. He would just be another story to be told.


End file.
